Harry Potter Q and A
by jaik34
Summary: Hello! The title is pretty self-explanitory. Rated T because there might be some themes not suited for young children.
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter Q and A

Everyone: Welcome!!

Jaik34: Hello. This is my first fan fiction!

Everyone: Hooray!

Jaik34: Now… ummm…

Harry: What do you want to say?

Ron: Yeah, cat got your tongue?

Crookshanks: Meow?

Jaik34: Okay, this is going to be one of those fan fics where YOU (the reader) send in questions and dares and _I_ make everybody do them. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Everyone: Nnooooooo!!

Jaik34: Yes… and now to wait for the reviews…

Hermione: You forgot to do something.

Jaik34: What?

Hermione: The disclaimer, of course!

Jaik34: Oh, yeah! Thanks! I don't own Harry Potter- JKR does.

Ron: Who's JKR?

Everyone: -.-' No one Ron…

Jaik34: Oh and by the way, if anyone did this already, I am SSSOOOO sorry! I thought of this myself, so if you think I'm copying, I'm not.

Harry: So… what will we do while we wait for reviews?

Jiak34: Eat cookies and talk about anime.

Harry: Fine with me. Ever seen Fruits Basket?

Jaik34: Yeah! I love them! Is it me, or do the characters remind me of you guys? Think about it.

Draco: Yeah. I could be Haru!

Jaik34: Who can Momiji be? I want my reviewers to think to think about this, okay? Please?


	2. Anime

Jaik34: I'm back.

Ron: Why, did we get reviews?

Jaik34: Yes, I'm so happy!! Four entire reviews! Isn't that awesome?!

Ron: I guess…

Jaik34: Now, on to the question from Sirius J Potter.

Sirius: She named herself after ME?! I'm touched. *cries*

SJP: Oh I love Fruis Basket! I don't know if anyone would be Momiji if I had to pick I'd say Tonks.

Jaik34: Y'know, she makes a good point.

Tonks: Yeah! *hair turns bright pink* Momiji is my favorite character! He's so energetic! Let's invite him over sometime, okay?

Jaik34: Okay.

SJP: Ok since SOMEONE *glares at Jaik34* made me forget my orignal question by talking about anime and getting me all excited. *whines* Harry! Hit her!

Harry: *smacks Jaik34 on her arm*

Jaik34: Ow!! Sorry!!

SJP: Cause now all I can think about is anime, plus I want pocky! Hermione go get me pocky please.

Hermione: Who's Pocky?

SJP: Oh yes question who here likes yaoi and who would you choose?

Snape: *gives SJP a death glare*

SJP: Don't look at me like that Snape! Ok fine or what's you favorite anime? I will give a Ichigo keychain to the first one who brings me that Pocky!

Snape: I … LOVE IT!!

Everyone: O_O Wow.

Snape: It's my addiction. How else do you think I get through the day?

Jaik34:……… What about everyone else?

Hermoine: I like Ouran High School Host club. Especially the twins. They remind me of Fred and George.

Fred and George: Were our names called? We like Naruto.

Jaik34: How do you know what we're talking about if you just got here?

Fred: We do, that's why.

George: _And nobody knows…_

Jaik34: I'm a little creeped out now. Harry, Ron, Ginny, what about you guys?

Harry: Inu Yasha.

Ron: Bleach.

Ginny: Death Note.

Jaik34: Well that answers your question. Oh, that reminds me. My other three reviewers asked me who Momiji was. He is a 15 year old boy that looks younger than he is. He has blond hair, brown eyes, and a smile that light up the room! He is the rabbit from the Zodiac. If you don't know what I'm talking about, than find out for yourself by Googling 'Fruits Basket.' Well, until next time, goodbye!!!


	3. Snape's OOCness and Ducks

Jaik34: Hello, my hostages!

Everyone:…….

Jaik34: I am _sssssssooooooooo_ sorry I haven't updated since forever. You all must hate me! Now, on straight to the reviews. *checks reviews* Guess what everyone! Sirius J Potter is back! Along with other people! Here's what she said. Take it away, Sirius!

SJP: Yay you guys responded! *Hugs Sirius* I'm going to date you ok.

Sirius: Alright, sweet thang.

SJP: Oh by the way Mione great taste! I love all those animes.

Hermoine: Yeah… well… *embarrassed*

SJB: Anyways thanks for getting back to me and I'll check in if no one responds I'll ask another question. You know what I'm staying. Everyone this is MY spot *sits on Sirius' lap*

Everyone: Good for you.

SJB: Hey Jaik who do you like and where the heck are Remus and James? (laughs at Snape's expression)

Snape: *looks terrified/ mad*

Jaik34: REMUS! JAMES! GET YOUR BUTTS OUT HERE!!!!

James: Alright, alright. No need to threaten our butts.

Remus: *sighs*

Jaik34: HarryismyHeroicsavoir has a question.

Harry: *blushes at the name*

HIMHS: I have a question! What is anime?

Hermione: Anime is an origanally Japanese cartoon, normally romantic, based off a manga, which is also originally Japanese.

Jaik34: I hope that answers your question. NEXT!

FreeVirtualHugs: this is so awesome!  
I you pick this then i want to send a message to all Harry Potter Characters - I'm a massive fan and i love you all! Hell, the first book i ever read was Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone!

Harry: That was made into a book?

Hermoine: *sarcastic* _No,_ Harry… ^_^

FVH: Okay, my question: If you had a choice out of 1) the Elder wand 2) the ressurection stone or 3) the invisability cloak - wich one would you choose. Now i know Harry already has two of them but please disregaurd that.

Jaik34: Okay, raise your hand if you want the Invisibility Cloak.

Everyone: *raises hand*

Jaik34: Resurrection Stone.

Draco, Ron, Hermoine, Snape, and Harry: *raises hand*

Jaik34: The Elder Wand.

Snape: *raises hand*

Jaik34: Why?

Snape: Because, that way I can _finally_ get my revenge at YOU THREE!! (points at Marauders)

Marauders: …..

FVH: P.s. Hermione, i love Ouran High School Host Club too, but my favouite character is Mori-senpai - the twins creep me out a bit :)

Fred and George: Hey!

FVH: p.p.s. Every one gets a FREE VIRTUAL HUG including Proffessor Snape becuase he's very noble and brave - a git - but still noble and brave

Snape: Did you hear that? I'm very noble and brave! And your not!

Jaik34: Attention anyone and everyone who reads this! I believe in the first chapter I said that people can give in questions and dares.

Draco: Keyword being dares. Also, how come I wasn't in the last chapter?

Jaik34: Not now! So I would like some dares, please!

Hermione: I have a dare for Ron. I want him to… SING THE LLAMA SONG WHILE DOING THE CHICKEN DANCE!!

Ron: NO!! Why would I, anyway?

Jaik34: Because I am the almighty authoress, making you do it!

Ron: …I don't like you.

Here's a llama  
There's a llama  
And another little llama  
Fuzzy llama  
Funny llama  
Llama llama  
Duck

Llama llama  
Cheesecake llama  
Tablet brick  
Potato llama  
Llama llama  
Mushroom llama  
Llama llama  
Duck

I was once a treehouse  
I lived in a cake  
but I never saw the way  
The orange slayed the rake  
I was only three years dead  
But it told a tale  
And now listen, little child  
To the safety rail

Did you ever see a llama  
Kiss a llama  
On the llama  
Llama's llama  
Tastes of llama  
Llama llama  
Duck

Half a llama  
Twice the llama  
Not a llama  
Farmer llama  
Llama in a car  
Alarm a llama  
Llama  
Duck

Is THIS how it's told now?  
Is it all so old?  
Is it made of lemon juice?  
Door knob ankle cold  
Now my song is getting thin  
I've run out of luck  
Time for me to retire now  
And become a duck

There. Are you happy? Because I'm not.

Everyone except Ron: XD HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Jaik34: I hope I made my message clear: I want some dares, please. Until next time, see ya!

Everyone: Rate and review!


	4. A Daring Chapter

Jaik34: Hello! Yet again I'm sorry for pratically abandoning my readers! Can you guys forgive me?

Everyone: Sure.

Jaik34: Okay, let's get this show on the road! Our first reviewer is Luna Lumine.

LL: Okay, then. I want to see:

1) dare Ron to make out with Hermione

Ron and Hermione: (shrug) (make out)

Jaik34: T_T You can at least get a room first. (points to Indiscriminate Room #1)

Hermione and Ron: (goes to Indiscriminate Room #1)

2) dare Ginny and Luna to make out, then duo sing 'I kissed a Girl and I liked It' by Katy Perry. don't just post the words, I wanna see the character's reactions and all that.

Jaik34: This dare is going to be in a different chapter, so Ginny and Luna can warm up their voices.

Ginny: You can't make be do this! I'm straight!

Luna: I am also straight.

Jaik34: I'll give you 1000 Galleons each.

Giinny and Luna: Never mind.

LL: 3) dare Snape to sing and act out 'Barbie Girl' with a falsetto voice. seeing reactions and dance please.

Jaik34: This will be in the 'I Kissed a Girl' chapter.

LL: 4) Q: Does Remus like ham?

Remus: Hmmmmm… it's okay.

Jaik34: Welcome back. What took you so long? It's been like, 15 minutes.

Ron: We… had… a game of Wizard's Chess. Yeah, let's go with that.

LL: 5) Q: Do any of the HP characters like iCarly?

Jaik34: Raise your hand if you like iCarly.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Luna, and Draco: (raises hand)

LL: 6) dare Harry to place a live chicken on his head until it falls/flies off.

Jaik34: (giggles at thought) Hermione, do you know the spell for conjuring a chicken?

Hermione: Sure do. (takes out wand) Animarious Arrivus chicken! (puts chicken on Harry's head)

LL: 7) Q: do any of the HP characters like the series Percy Jackson and The Olympians?

Everyone: (stares at Hermione)

Hermione: What? Just because I read a lot, you assume I've read every book ever written?

Chicken: Brrrraaaaccckkk! (jumps off Harry's head)

Harry: (Feels head) Wow. It laid an egg.

Everyone, including Jaik34: (ignores Harry and the Chicken) (thinks) _Yes. Yes we do._

Hermione: Well, I like it.

Harry and Ron: It's a great book… I like … that guy… with the thing… you know who I'm talking about, right?

LL: 8) Q: has Voldemort ever kissed a girl? If so, details please!

Jaik34: Only Voldemort would know the answer to that question. And may God rest his soul… what am I talking about? He's Six Feet Under…. Thank God he choked on that bologna sandwich.

LL: and... that's all for now.

Jaik34: Now that's out of the way, Let's go to Iccle Amy.

IA: okay ... a dare. Not as easy as I thought 2 think of one actually.

Alright ... hmm ...  
I dare everyone to work as a team effort to distract Snape and steal some Veritaserum from his office. But the best part ... pour some in Snapes morning drink and ask him all the questions you like. :)

Jaik34: Okay, this also has to be its own separate chapter, because this is probably going to be long. Next is HarryismyHeroic savior.

HIMHS: Nice song, lol! I am going to copy and paste it into my profile, giving you full credit, of course!

Jaik34: No!! Don't give me any credit! Give all credit to the person who created this song. I don't know who he/she is. (checks for more reviews) Yay! Sirius J Potter is back, once again!

Everyone: Awww!

Jaik34: No complaining, or you owe me 5 Galleons.

SJP: dares? *screams* WE can do DARES! *kisses sirius* That's IT! I dare SNAPE to kiss someone currently in the room. You can pick but be warned I'm still sitting in here so I KNOW Lily is not here thus not a option. (looks around) So who will it be Snape: Harry? Ron? Hermoine? Fred? perhaps George? My charming Sirius? No ok Remus? I know you want JAMES! Pick wisely. muhahahaha

Snape: I would rather you call me Professor Snape, Miss Potter. And I have no desire to _kiss_ anyone in this room, especially those twin devils. But, because this "interview" has turned into a game of Truth or Dare, or as the young witches and wizards call it, Veritiserum or Crucio, I shall kiss whomever Miss Jaik34 chooses.

Jaik34: Thank you. Let's see… I dare you to kiss… (evil grin) Neville.

Everyone: Neville?

Neville: Me? I can't kiss him! I won't kiss him. I haven't kissed anyone before.

Snape: I also cannot kiss him, for he is a Gryffindor 45 years younger than me. If word gets out I have been kissing an under aged boy, I would probably get arrested for some form of sexual harassment.

Jaik34: Good point, lame excuse. Okay, then, you kiss James now.

James: I have to kiss that pathetic excuse for a human over there? The answer is NO.

Jaik34: I can see this isn't going well. Is there anyone who wants to kiss Snape?

Hermione: Well… I've been curious… (kisses Snape)

Snape: (kisses back)

Everyone: ##*%)!&!!*$&%^(#$%%!!

Hermione: That was good.

Ron: (passes out)

Harry: (turns odd shade of green)

Jaik34: Oooooooookkaaaaaaayyy……… I'm glad that's over. I think that's all for my reviews so far… so long!

Girls: Ask interesting questions!

Boys: Send in some dares!

Everyone: Goodbye!


	5. Harry Potter: A Musical sort of

Jaik34: Maximum apologies for not updating in a while, but I just got over strep throat, which is like a sore throat, but ten times worse. This is going to be the 'I Kissed a Girl' chapter and Snape's big solo with 'Barbie Girl'. Let's get this show on the road. By the way, this was requested by Luna Lumine.

(Everyone in the story I have mentioned and their friends are currently in a theatre, with a stage. After a while, the lights dim, and a spotlight comes on. They see Ginny and Luna pretty much getting it on. Ginny is holding a Firewhiskey bottle and Luna a Muggle martini. They are both wearing lingerie.)

All People in the Audience: (temporary shock)

Neville: Wow. Luna's HOT.

Ginny:

This was never the way I planned  
Not my intention  
I got so brave, drink in hand  
Lost my discretion

Luna:

It's not what, I'm used to  
Just wanna try you on (points to Ginny)  
I'm curious for you  
Caught my attention

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick

Ginny:

I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

Harry: I do mind it! 

Together:

It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Luna:  
No, I don't even know your name  
It doesn't matter,  
You're my experimental game  
Just human nature

Ron: If it's human nature, I would have made out with Harry by now.

Harry: What?!

Ginny:

It's not what,  
Good girls do

Fred and George: When has she been classified a good girl?

Ginny:  
Not how they should behave  
My head gets so confused  
Hard to obey

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick

Luna:

I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

Together:

It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Luna:  
Us girls we are so magical  
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable

Ginny:

Hard to resist so touchable  
Too good to deny it

Together:

Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

I kissed a girl and I liked it  
The taste of her cherry chap stick  
I kissed a girl just to try it  
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it

It felt so wrong  
It felt so right  
Don't mean I'm in love tonight  
I kissed a girl and I liked it  
I liked it

Audience: (STANDING OVATION) (tosses roses)

Ginny and Luna: Thank you! Thank you! (bow) (bow) (exit stage left)

Jaik34: (struts on stage) The girls were awesomely amazing, weren't they? Now, for our second act, Severus Snape!!

Audience: (polite applause)

Snape: (walks on stage with a pink up-to-the-knees dress and matching heels. Oh my goodness, he shaved his legs?!)

Audience: *o* Oh. My. God.

Snape: (soprano)

I'm a Barbie girl

In a Barbie world

Life is plastic

It's fantastic

You can comb my hair

Draco: Who would want to? I mean, it's disturbing.

Snape:

Undress me everywhere

Draco: Okay, THAT'S disturbing.

Snape:

Imagination

Life is your creation

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie

Harry: (faint) (twitch) (twitch)

Snape:  
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

Ron: (shutter)

Snape:  
You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Albus Dumbledore: (special guest)

Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

Snape:

Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again  
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party

You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours  
You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours

Albus:

Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

Albus:  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Sevvie, let's go party, oooh, oooh

Snape: Oh, I'm having so much fun!

Albus: Well, Snape, we're just getting started!

Snape: Oh, I love you Albus!

Albus: O_o (Staaaaaare) Okay.

Jaik34: Give it up for Severus Snape!! Wooooooooo!

Audience: (clap) (clap) (clap)

Jaik34: Geez! He worked on that routine for 2 weeks! The least you can do is give him some applause.

Audience: (polite applause)

Jaik34: And now, for a special surprise. Snape, would you come here, please?

Snape: What?

Jaik34: Would you like to sing the reasons why Draco annoys you?

Snape: Sure. (clears voice)

Do you know how much you annoy me? The answer is alot.

Should I list the reasons why?  
Well I don't see why not.

Its your hair, your nose, your chinless face, you always need a hug.

Not to mention all the manly appletinis that you chug.  
That you think I am your mentor just continues to perplex.

And oh my god, stop telling me when you have nerdy sex!

Draco: (spoken)  
Oh, by the way, last time Fleur was in town we got some appletinis and poured 'em on our good parts. = D

Snape:  
See now, Malfoy, that's the thing that you do that drives me up a tree,

'Cause now matter how I rant to you, you never let me be.

So I'm stuck with all your daydreaming and your wish to be my son.

It makes me suicidal and I'm not the only one  
No, I'm not the only one.

Audience and Jaik34: (ROTFLTAO)

Draco: Fine. I see how it is. And here is my response.

I am an arm's dealer

Fitting you with weapons in the form of words

And don't really care which side wins

As long as the room keeps singing

That's just the business I'm in

This ain't a scene

It's a god damn arm's race-

Jaik34: DRACO!! What does this have to do with anything?

Draco: I don't know. I just felt like singing.

Jaik34: (sigh) Is there anyone else that feel like singing?

Ron:  
Lifestyles of the rich and the famous  
They're always complaining

Always complaining  
If money is such a problem  
Well they got mansions  
Think we should rob them

Hermione: Shut up, Ron! We all know you can't sing! And besides, it's my turn.

When I was just a little girl

My mama used to tuck me into bed

And she'd read me a story

It was always about a princess in distress

And how the prince would save her

And end up with the glory

I'd lie in bed and think about the person

That I wanted to be

Then one day I realized

The fairy tale life, wasn't for me

I don't want to be like Cinderella

Sitting in s dark, old dusty cellar

Waitng for somebody

To come and set me free

I don't wanna be like someone, waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On my own I will survive  
Unless somebody's on my side  
Don't wanna depend on no one else  
I'd rather rescue myself

Jaik34: Alright, Miss Independent! No more singing… until chapter after next.

Luna: Why can't it be next chapter?

Jaik34: (whisper so Snape can't hear) That's the chapter where you guys have to steal some Veratisserum from Snape's store. Remember Iccle Amy's dare a few days ago?

Luna: Oh. Okay.

Jaik34: That's all for now!

Audience: (cheer)

Jaik34: Hey, what happened to Harry? He fainted quite a while ago. I'm going to take him to the hospital… see if he's okay. (levitates Harry out the door)

_____O~~O_____

Jaik34: Okay… this is my first time doing author's notes. I know the ending sucks out loud, but I couldn't think of anything else. So this is how writer's block feels like… ^_^ Anyways, review, ask questions and dares, and… yeah!! =D

OH!! Whoever can guess where I got Snape's second song from will what ever they want. Is that okay??

Here are the names of the songs I used:

Aqua- Barbie Girl

Katy Perry- I Kissed a Girl

Fall Out Boy- This Ain't a Scene (It's An Arm's Race)

Good Charlotte- Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Cheetah Girls- Cinderella

I give all credit to the fantastic artists who sang these songs.


	6. Nicknames

Jaik34: After 10,000 years I'm finally back!

Everyone: (cheers)

Jaik34: I'm sorry I haven't updated in 10,000 years. My computer caught a virus, so we had to erase everything on the computer, including the story I already wrote. Next was final exams, and then school let out. I'm very happy about that part. And now, onto the dares!! And questions. (checks reviews) It's Sirius J. Potter!! (glomps)

Sirius j. Potter: Ok I am so not calling you professor snape but I can call you snivellus if you want. *smiles sweetly*

Snape: Do I really need a nickname?

SJB: Yes you need a nickname if your going to stick around the cool people. (points to self and sirius) (points to james and remus) *thinks about it* (points to jaik34)

Jaik34: Why did you have to think about it? I'm cool, right??

SJP: Okay all of us who don't actually take his class let's here some suggestions. Everyone spin a butter beer bottle and who it lands on you get to pick a nickname for that person, any nickname you want. Oh and kiss him or her if you really want. *gives hermione a look* We'll play to! *drags jaik over* Never say I did not help you snivellus!

Snape: Aguamenti!

Jaik34: Water spell. Huh.

SJP: *dodges curse* And thank you Jaik I'm glad someone enjoys my company. I just want to torture everyone here I mean help with the interview/game. *halo appears over her head*

Jaik34: My little angel. (hugs) Next up is Marionette Javert Edwards.

MJE: This is well funny!

I GUESSED SNAPE'S SECOND SONG!! Is it 'The Rant' off Scrubs??

I got that wrong, didn't I?

Ah well.

Ron: No you didn't! You guessed right!

JAik34: And thanks for the complement!

MJE: I know what you should do for the next-but-a-couple chapter! You should play strip poker! XD

Harry: I wouldn't mind that. (perverted smile)

Sirius j potter: Another great chapter. Love the song choices. Yay for Good Charlotte! :D

James: I disagree!

Sirius: Me too!

SJB: What? Good Charlotte is good! I own all the cd's.

James: Not that I'm not in this chapter! I'm not in any of them!

Remus: Actually-

James: One line does not count!

Sirius: I think you had two. *cheesy smile*

James: Shut up Padfoot! Snivellus gets all the air time and I get none! He is in every chapter and the

next one is dedicated to him as well!

Sirius: That's just wrong!

James: I know and I wanted to sing.

Sirius: Me too!

SJB: Remus should sing Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran!

Remus: Erm, no thanks Sirius J. It's not that I don't like the song, I'm just a bad singer.

Sirius: Take his word for it. TRUST ME.

James: One time, we were in a karaoke club, and Remus tried to his this high note, and he ended up breaking the windows. Heh heh, that was kinda funny.

Sirius: We are now officially banned from that place.

Jaik34: MOVING ON, I would like to play the game Sirius J. mentioned earlier. Alright everyone, get in a circle.

Everybody: (gets into circle)

Jaik34: Alright, because Sirius J. already chose a nickname for Snape, it's Snape's turn. And, the nickname can't have swearing in it. No dirty words, either. And it can't be offensive. And now, LET IT BEGIN!

Draco: Aw, you just sucked all the fun out of it.

Snape: (spins bottle) (lands on Harry) Hmmm… Nothing offensive, huh? Alright, let's see… Raven. Because of his hair.

Harry:…Okay. (spins bottle) (lands on Remus) ……Wolf Man.

James: HA! You don't even know the half of it son.

Remus: Right-O then. (spins bottle) (Lands on Draco) I don't really know you that well, so I don't really know what to call you… Harry told me about that time you got turned onto a ferret… and you're in Slytherin… so how about… The Slytherin ferret…?

Hermione: Heh heh. I like that.

Draco: I don't like that one so much, but I'll leave it be… for now. (spins bottle) (lands on Ron) I already got a couple nick names for you. Weaselby and the Weasel. I'm done already so spin, Freckle Face!

Ron: Alright, alright… (spins bottle) (land on Fred) Devil #1.

Fred: I like that! (spins bottle) (land on Ginny) Spitfyre, 'cause every time you get angry, you seem to spit fire. Get it? I know, I'm so clever.

Ginny: Yeah… okay. (spins bottle) (lands on Neville) Neville, eh? Hmmm…Oh! I got it! Wait. What was his name again? That guy, from the Dorothy book?

Harry: Dorothy? You mean The Wizard of Oz?

Ginny: Yes! The lion! The… Cowardly Lion, his name was, right? He reminds me of you, no offense.

Neville: Cowardly? I'm not cowardly. If I was, I would probably be in Hufflepuff. But I can see where you're going there. (spins bottle) (lands on Sirius) Didn't Mr. Potter-

James: Oh, no reason to be so formal, m'boy. Just call me James.

Neville: Okay. Didn't James call you Padfoot or something earlier? Can I do that?

Jaik34: That lacks all creativity, but if that's what you want, go ahead.

Sirius: (spins bottle) (lands on Luna) You're Luna Lovegood, right?

Luna: That is correct.

Sirius: I don't really know you, but you seem sort of spacy. Sort of quiet, very passionate about what you care about. Very smart. Hm, I don't really know. How about… um… can you come back to me?

Jaik34: Sure, no problem. Luna, how 'bout you spin?

Luna: Okay. (spins bottle) (lands on George) Devil #2.

George: (shrug) Good enough. (spins bottle) (lands on James) James, huh? Let's see… Jamie, Marauder #4, Stag, Prongs, Harry's older twin…

Harry: O_o What?

George: Nothing. :)

Sirius: (snaps fingers) I got it! How about Sunshine? Get it? Because her name's Luna and that's the moon, and she's bright like sunshine 'cause she's smart, and her hair's blonde like sunshine! I know, I know, you don't need to say it. I'm extremely brilliant, aren't I?

Luna: That is a lovely nickname for me. Thank you Mr. Black.

Sirius: No problem. And you can call me Sirius.

James: (spins bottle) (lands on Hermione) You're Hermione, right? One of Harry's best friends, the smart one. Yeah, I heard a lot of good things about you. Did you know he thinks you should've gone to Ravenclaw? He said you're definitely smart enough. But he's glad you didn't though, because he probably would have never met you again after the Hogwarts Express. He thinks you are a smart and friendly girl. You may not know it, but he cares a lot about you.

Hermione: (crying) :''') Oh Harry! That has to be the nicest thing that's ever been said about me! You are so sweet Harry. (hugs Harry/ crying on his shoulder)

James: I think a good name for you would be the Gryffindor Princess, because you are truly a princess…. well, in Harry's eyes you are.

Ron: (EVIL GLARE) : l

Harry: (notices glare) Dad, the way you say it, you make it sound like I want to be her boyfriend. I love her more like a sister, you know?

Draco: If she gets to be the Gryffindor princess, then I get to be the Slytherin Prince!

Neville: If he's the Slytherin prince, then what am I?

Ginny: You and I can be aces! I call the Ace of Spades.

Neville: I want to be the Ace of Clovers. Hold on, what do aces do?

Ginny: *shrug*

Ron: I wanna be a Jack. I always thought he was pretty cool.

Jaik34: Well, this is sort of off topic.

Sirius: Me, James and Remus are the kings of Gryffindor! XD

James and Remus: Yeah! 8D

Fred: We are the jokers.

George: Yup yup, we are the comedians of the courts.

Sirius J.: I get to be a queen!

Snape: King of Slytherin. T_T

Luna: I will be the Ace of Diamonds.

Harry: Who's gonna be the Ace of Hearts?

Tonks: I will!!

Jaik34: When did you get here?

Tonks: Well, when I got here the first thing I heard was James talking about being a princess.

Sirius: Pffft, hahahaha… James, being a princess… That's beautiful.

James: Shut up, I was talking about someone else.

Hermione: What are you going to be, Harry?

Harry: Prince of Gryffindor, I guess, since I'm the son of the king and everything.

Remus: That's my nephew/ex-student.

Sirius: That's my godson.

James: That's my son by blood. OOOOOOH! You have just been Rick-Rolled.

Ron: That is not what Rick-Rolled means.

Harry: Hey Dad, where's Mom?

James: I'll be right back. (leaves)

Jaik34: Wait a minute! We didn't give Sirius J a nickname.

Ron: What about the name you called her during the previous chapters? SJB?

Jaik34: What? Those are just her initials!

Hermione: Yeah, I like the way that sounds.

Harry: Me too.

Ginny and Luna: Me three!

Draco: I guess that's alright…

Jaik34: B-but-

James: Sounds good to me.

Sirius: Alright! Raise your hand if SJB should be Sirius J.'s new nickname!

Everyone: *raises hand*

Sirius: Majority rules!! Woot!

Jaik34: -_-' *sigh* Well… alright. This is all for now. Don't forget to rate and review. I don't own these characters as normal, so have a good day or somefing.

Harry: WAIT!! Dad, you forgot about Mom!

James: Meh. I'll get her later. I'm tired.

Harry: o.o" From what?

~o0o~ ~o0o~ ~o0o~

Okay. A few things.

1) I already know the ending sucked.

2) I'm sorry about crappy nicknames.

3)SJB, what do you think? (SORRY!! I couldn't think of anything. _)

4) Rate/review/fave or ELSE!! (jk :p)


	7. Chapter 7

Oh my goodness… I am SO sorry for not updating in a month. I am ashamed for not doing this sooner. I came back from my vacation to Chicago and Memphis on Tuesday. I've been meaning to do this but never got around to it. So I am incredibly sorry for neglecting my readers, no matter how few there are.

But at least I had fun on my vacation. (If you are not interested in my vacation, you might as well leave now.) While in Chicago, I went to the aquarium, the planetarium, and saw a huge T-rex skeleton. I also went to a Harry potter exhibit, where they made replicas of costumes (ex. Hermione's dress in HP 4) and sets (like Hagrid's hut and the Great Hall). I bought a bookmark as a souvenir. That was pretty cool. The best part was that we lived right across the street from it.

When I went to Memphis, I was only there for a week. My aunt and I went to our family reunion. My cousin Timothy (I called her Tim)reminded me of my friend Kaya in appearances and personality. The reunion itself was nice, except for the part when it rained… but it was only for ten minutes or so.

So now I'm back in California with my mom. I really missed her. And again I apologise.

And now for the random fact of the day: The plastic tip of a shoelace is called an aglet.


	8. Veratisserum Pt 1

You thought I was going to put this off a little longer.

You thought I was never going to update ever again.

You thought WRONG.

Just to refresh, Iccle Amy said…

okay ... a dare. Not as easy as I thought 2 think of one actually.

Alright ... hmm ...  
I dare everyone to work as a team effort to distract Snape and steal some Veritaserum from his office. But the best part ... pour some in Snapes morning drink and ask him all the questions you like. :)

Enjoy. ^_^

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

It was a gloomy June day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The trio, Ginny, and Neville were sitting around, trying to think of a way to steal Snape's Veratisserum. Then…

"I got it! We could distract him!" Harry said.

"Harry, don't insult our intelligence. We already know that much," Hermione said. "But how are we going to distract him?"

Ron said, "You can distract him." And then he added, under his breath," 'Cause you sure do distract me."

"How am I going to distract him?"

"Well, you two are dating," Ginny stated.

"No, that was a one time thing."

Neville said, "Um, I might be missing something here, but why can't Harry go out with Ron and Hermione and steal the potion under the Invisibility Cloak? And if all of you don't fit, then you can cast Invisibility Charms, right Hermione? It would work out like this. Hermione and Harry would go inside the shop. Ron would stand guard outside. When Harry and Hermione get the potion, they could just come back here with Ron. If we do it this way, we don't really have to worry about distractions."

It took about 5 seconds for the words to sink in.

Then, Ginny cried, "Oh my gosh Neville, you're a genius!" She hugged Neville. He smiled and blushed.

"That was wicked, mate!" Ron clapped him on the back.

Harry smiled and nodded in approval. "That was pretty cool, Nev."

"Geez, why didn't I think of that?" Hermione asked herself.

That night they had decided to carry out Neville's plan tomorrow night, around midnight.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

The next night, Harry, Ron, and Hermione headed down for the dungeons. Because they all couldn't fit under the cloak, Harry and Ron were under while Hermione had to cast an Invisibility Charm on herself.

"You singled me out because I'm a girl, didn't you?"

"No, we singled you out because you weren't there when we voted."

"We've always told you not to go to the library so often, Herms."

"Guys, hush, there are prefects, you know."

They snuck past the prefects easily. They were now at the Potions classroom entrance.

"Ron! Take off your tie!" Hermione whispered.

"Alright, alright." He took it off.

"_Alohomora_," Hermione said.

_Click._

"See ya in a few Ron."

They went inside. It was dark and slightly moist in there. They found where the kept the potions with a quick _Lumos_.

"Alright, let's see, Veratisserum… What does Veratisserum look like?"

"Well, it's colorless and odorless."

"So we look for something that looks like water?"

"Exactly."

So they searched for the water-like potion, and after about ten minutes, Harry asked, "Would it kill him to put some labels on these things? I mean, seriously. How does he find anything in here? They're all so close together, no organization skills whatsoever. It's pretty dark in here too. Speaking of dark have you seen his hair lately? It's so greasy, I wonder why he never washes it. I bet you that's his weakness, shampoo. Oh, I know. He doesn't wash it because he made a promise to himself. 'I won't wash my hair until Minerva goes out with me.' Or something like that. But if he didn't wash his hair, wouldn't only repel her more? Anyway, they would make an odd couple, don't you think Hermione? I mean, you and _Dumbledore_ would make a more likely-"

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"I found it."

"Coolio."

MEANWHILE…

"God… so bloody bored… ugh…must do… something…" Ron starts humming "Dance Dance" by Fall Out Boy. But right when he got to the first chorus, a Slytherin prefect came by.

"You! Say your name, year, and why you're here!" he demanded.

"Erm… I'm Vincent's older brother… Andre. I'm a seventh year…. I'm waiting for…"_ What am I waiting for?!_ "…my girlfriend."

"Oh yeah, I've heard about you. I thought you were gay. And brunette."

"Naw,I- I swing both ways, you know? There's twice as much a chance that you'll get a date for Saturday night, yes? A-And I thought I would try red, you know. Experimenting." _Thank God for fast thinking._

"Alright, alright. I'll see you around then."

"Yeah…"

The prefect left. Ron sighed a breath of relief. He thought he'd been caught for sure.

"Hey Ron." He jumped.

"What're you so jumpy about?"

"Nothing, you just startled me Harry. That's all."

"Then what are waiting for? Come on, let's go!" Hermione urged.

Harry put the cloak over himself and Ron, and they set off for the common room.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

When they came back to the common room, Neville and Ginny were eagerly awaiting the trio to come. When they did, Ginny hugged Harry and said, "You're back."

"Yes. Yes I am," Harry responded blankly.

"Well, now that that's done, how are we going to put in Snape's drink?" Neville asked.

"We could mix it in with his coffee and say it's water," Ron suggested.

"That isn't a bad idea, but I'm pretty sure he would recognize it. Besides, it would be awkward if it was coming from a bunch of Gryffindors," Hermione said.

"….Maybe it doesn't have to come from Gryffindors," Ginny said with an evil smile on her face.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

THE NEXT DAY…

"NO."

"Please Malfoy, we're asking you politely. All you have to do is serve him some coffee with a little bit of Veratisserum in it. That's all."

"What if I get caught, Granger? What are going to do about that?" he asked.

"We could blame it on Iccle Amy, since she was the one who made us do this in the first place," Ginny said.

Draco thought about it for a moment before saying, "…sounds reasonable."

"Alright, here's the potion." Hermoine gave him the standard sized bottle. Draco stood there.

"What are you standing there for?!" she asked furiously. She shoo-ed him out of the hallway and into the Great Hall. "Go on boy, do your thing!"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Draco stumbled onto the Great Hall. He then walked over to his seat and sat next to Crabbe and Goyle.

"Hey Vince, hey Greg."

"Hey Drake," they said simutaniously.

"Whacha got there?" Greg asked, referring to the vile.

"Oh, just planning a little prank on Professor Snape." He poured a small amount of Veratissirum onto a mug.

"Anything we could do to help?" Vince asked with a bright expression on his face.

"This is more of a one man job." He poured coffee into it and stirred.

"You say EVERYTHING is a one man job," Greg complained loudly.

"Yeah. Even mastur-" Vince began to add, but Draco cut him off.

Draco said with a hard voice, "Don't even think about finishing that sentence."

Vince looked down, ashamed. "Yes sir."

Draco peered into the cup. It looked black. Perfect.

"Well," he said, "I'll see ya in a few…" He trailed off when he noticed Vince and Greg were too busy stuffing their faces to notice he was leaving. He sighed. When are they ever going to change?

He walked up to Snape at the teachers' table and said, "Good morning," in his most polite tone.

"Good morning, Mr. Malfoy."

"Um, would you like some coffee?" Draco asked courteously.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Well…" Draco thought quickly. "To say thank you for all the stuff you've done for me, y'know?" He smiled, hoping Snape couldn't tell he's lying. "Besides you're my teacher and my godfather, you deserve some…coffee."

He took the coffee mug and said, "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy."

"It was my pleasure Professor," Draco said, and he left the table.

Snape drank.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Audience: Finally…

Jaik34: Sorry it took me so long. Life got in the way. TT_TT I promise you, I will never take this long to write anything ever again….*is ashamed* *goes to sulk in Tamaki's Corner of Woe*

Draco: Damn straight.

Jaik34: Go away.


End file.
